How to Master the Art of Asking for Help and Build Your Support Network as a New Mom

Motherhood may be one of the most transformative experiences, but let's be real—it's also one of the most challenging. And while the idea of “doing it all” sounds admirable, the reality is that it can leave you feeling burned out and overwhelmed. Somewhere between trying to juggle feedings, self-care (what’s that?), and a thousand other things, you might find yourself *needing* a little help. But here’s the kicker: asking for that help often feels easier said than done.

If you’re struggling to lean on others or if “I’ve got this” has become your default answer even when you’re barely holding on, it’s time for a new approach. Here’s how to master the art of asking for help and start building a support network that feels like a genuine lifeline.

1. Rewrite the Story You Tell Yourself About Needing Help
There’s a myth out there that needing help means you’re failing at motherhood, but let’s debunk that once and for all. Needing help isn’t a sign of weakness or failure; it’s a reminder that you’re human. Motherhood is hard work, and no one is designed to do it all on their own. So, the next time you start to feel guilt or shame creeping in, remind yourself that asking for help is actually a sign of strength and self-awareness.

2. Identify Your Needs Before You Ask
Sometimes, the hardest part of asking for help is knowing what you actually need. Take a few minutes to think about where you’re feeling the most overwhelmed. Do you need a break, a helping hand around the house, or just someone to chat with? Getting clear about what you need makes it easier to ask for specific support, and it also increases the likelihood that you’ll get the help you’re looking for. Write down a few “wish list” items that would make your day easier—these can be small things like a meal, a short nap, or a friend’s company.

3. Be Direct and Specific
Once you’ve identified your needs, don’t be afraid to be direct. Vague hints won’t get you far, so try asking in a way that leaves no room for misinterpretation. Instead of saying, “I could use a little help,” go with, “Could you come over for an hour so I can get a nap?” or “Would you mind bringing a meal over next week?” People are often more than willing to help when they know exactly what to do.

4. Build a Support Network by Mixing Up Your Sources
Your support network doesn’t have to come from one place. Think about friends, family, neighbors, and even professionals who can lend a hand. Maybe your best friend can be there for emotional support, a family member can step in to babysit, or a postpartum doula can provide extra hands-on assistance. A diverse support system means you’ll have different types of help for different situations, and it allows you to take a little pressure off each person involved.

5. Create a Culture of Openness with Your Partner (or Key Support Person)
If you have a partner, let’s get them on board with this whole “asking for help” thing too. Often, we expect our partners to just know what we need without us saying it, which, let’s be honest, rarely works out. Having an open conversation about your needs and how they can support you is a game-changer. Create a habit of checking in with each other regularly, and don’t be afraid to ask for help directly when you’re feeling stretched thin. Building a culture of support starts at home.


Remember: Building a Support Network Takes Practice
Asking for help is a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice. The more you do it, the easier it becomes, and before you know it, it will start to feel more natural. Every mom deserves a village, and with a little courage, you can start building yours today.



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Motherhood is no solo act, and the sooner we embrace that, the stronger we all become. So, what’s one thing you could use help with right now? Let me know in the comments—I’d love to hear how you’re building your support network!